Check out Oprah and Dr Laura Berman (Oprah's go-to therapist) talk to a woman about watching porn. It's clear Oprah isn't totally on board the porn train, but at least she's open.
I think this is good advice.
Reviews
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Susie Bright
Here's a blog that gets me where I live...Much food for thought on a regular basis! -
In the debauched world of INDIEROTICA, the thin bra-strap of a line between the seductive and the obscene is torn, stripped, and ripped off so often that one can have difficulty differentiating between the exploitative and truly erotic. Here to help us connect the dots is the brilliant and sexy REBECCA, author of the clever blog, PORN PERSPECTIVES. "Examining the interplay between pornography, feminism, economics, and technology", it's possibly the smartest sex on the internet.
-Jess, INDIEROTICA.com
Blogroll
Squirt Ban in UK
Apparently UK porn films must undergo approval by a group called the British Board of Film Classification. I can only imagine a row of grey-haired Brits staring down their noses at raunchy movies - I'm shocked anything makes it past them.
Films depicting female ejaculation had been banned by this board, a decision which was recently overturned thanks to the lobbying efforts of female porn director Anna Span.
Ms. Span
While the question of female ejaculation is mildly controversial--what is it anyway? is it pee? do regular women do this?--one must admit there's a massive double standard in place when male ejaculation is (literally) all over the place in porn films.
So kudos to Anna Span. I'll have to check out her films.
You can read more about this issue here. There are some freaky new-age books about "divine nectar" from which I'd steer clear. Many resources about female ejaculation are available, should you want to investigate. Word of caution: female ejaculation is apparently much more, uh, copious (i.e., messy) than the male version.
Women Moving In
Some argue that this downturn will result in a return to quality in porn. Customers can get junky content for free online, so why would they pay for it? Instead, producers will need to present a product worth paying for. I've argued that women in particular understand this market for quality content. Supporting this claim, Good Releasing, sister to novelty toy company Good Vibrations (started in the 1970s and oriented towards female consumers), has announced a three new video production lines: Reel Queer Productions, HeartCore Productions and the PleasureEd Series.
According to Good Vibrations COO Jackie Strano, Good Releasing will feature quality content and leverage the expertise of legend Carol Queen, PhD. According to Strano:
“Good Releasing's titles showcase authentic and hot adult entertainment full of helpful information, lustful and unabashed sexualities, unapologetic desire, genuine pleasure, and screen burning chemistry.”
She added:
"Our films will offer viewers’ a unique selection of wide-ranging topics that provide open-minded information for a diverse audience, with special emphasis placed on mutual respect, enthusiastic participation and pleasure.”
I wouldn't be surprised if we saw more women using the economic downtown as an opportunity to launch new ventures and introduce novel, high-quality content to the market. Now's a great time to get started.
Unraveling the Eternal Mystery of Women
A fascinating article in Sunday's Times discussed a number of research efforts attempting to define female desire. The whole article is worth a read, but I've pulled out a few provocative insights for your consideration.
A Canadian researcher conducted an experiment where she measured physical (genital) response to sexual materials, and also asked participants to consciously report their arousal level. The stimuli included hetero sex, homosexual male and homosexual female sex, a man masturbating, a woman masturbating, a naked man walking, and a naked woman exercising. She also showed a video of bonobo monkeys copulating.
The male participants reacted true to form - the straight men were aroused when watching hetero sex, lesbian sex, and the naked women. Gay men preferred the gay sex and naked men. Neither group of men was interested in the monkey sex.
The story was quite different for women - they were aroused across the board (including monkey sex), but only genitally. Mentally, they reported arousal in accordance with sexual orientation. Also worth noting is the women were more aroused at the sight of the exercising woman than with the naked walking man.
One explanation could be that women are simply out of touch with their true desires. But according to this explanation, women want to have sex with bonobos. This was unlikely, so the researcher's tentative conclusion was that in terms of evolution, it made sense for women's vaginas to lubricate in response to any sort of sexual stimulation. It makes sex possible and less painful.
Another explanation is that female sexuality is reactive, while male sexuality is aggressive and direct. Evolution wouldn't want two motivational forces - complementary forces would be more stable and productive. This could have something to do with the strong role that being desired plays in female sexuality. This would also help us understand the issues some young, "liberated" women face today of not being able to say no to boys (it's hard to say no when you're not sure what it is you really want) - I'll write more on this in my next post.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of women having a passive/receptive sexuality, but I am compelled by the notion that women are able to react to a wide variety of sexual stimuli. This creates a much more fluid sexuality, which, on the downside is hard to pin down, but also has the benefit of being hard to pin down. Categories aren't sexy - mystery is. How delightful women's infinite complexity is - we never have to explain ourselves when we're weirdly attracted to a pair of shoes or a tall building or the metering light pattern on the Bay Bridge (uhm..).
Another interesting insight, related to the above. If the feeling of being desired is central to women's sexuality, then what happens when women enter monogamous relationships?
Another researcher who works with women suffering from dyspareunia (vaginal pain during sex), as well as women experiencing loss of desire. Loss of desire is much more common among married women than married men; additionally, women tend to have a lower libido. This means women need a lot more stimulation to spark desire. And if we accept the premise that being desired is important to women, then monogamy necessarily kills desire. Husbands have no choice than to have sex with their wives. So no matter how he may try to dress it up, she knows that she is his only option; his sexual pursuit of her is not completely inspired by her ravishing beauty.
I'm not saying that this explanation is widely applicable, or even true - but it is an interesting development in the study of female desire. Aspects of this research are well worth consideration.
Really, I urge you to read the full article. There's tons more material there, including a shockingly provocative discussion of female rape fantasies which would have landed the writer and researchers in major hot water among the feminist community 10 years ago (and maybe still today?).
Magazine Review: Scarlet
A reader had alerted me to the existence of the British magazine Scarlet some time ago, but because it is not sold in the US, I didn’t feel I had enough information to form an opinion on it (content available online is limited). The concept behind “The Magazine That Turns Women On” is a sex-positive, pro-woman magazine tame enough to be sold in the drugstore, but naughty enough to transcend Cosmo’s “50 secrets to driving your man wild”.
I recently spent a few days in London, and my first purchase upon arrival was Scarlet. I paged through it at a coffeeshop, and I’m pleased to say we’ve got ourselves a winner. My initial skepticism that the magazine would be condescending, self-congratulatory, tasteless, or narrow-minded was unfounded.
Increasing people’s comfort with sex—particular female sexuality—is key in producing an open, accepting society. Magazines like Scarlet which discuss graphic sexual details the same way one might describe a trip to the grocery store is a huge step towards increasing comfort levels.
In addition to a delightful section entitled “Cliterature” (oh, how I never get enough of sexual puns!), the magazine includes several short features about the sexual adventures of its staff writers. Most features are accompanied by photos of these women, and it’s both surprising and heartening to see how average they look. They are exactly the average, pasty, size 12, thirtysomething women with stringy hair you would imagine actually write for a women’s magazine (Hollywood movie casting notwithstanding).
One feature describes the writer’s vacation to a Swinger’s colony:
“Meanwhile, I sucked Greg off so hard that I thought my vocal chords might rip. Eventually I turned around and let him fuck me from behind while a row of guys lined up in front of me, all waiting to be sucked off.”
What an icebreaker—don’t you just wish all soccer moms were exposed to this type of writing regularly? We might not be having this Sarah Palin problem if they did…
Other things I like about Scarlet:
- The erotic stories in the Cliterature section all make an effort to eroticize condom usage, so points for that.
- The magazine is sprinkled with ads and reviews for sex toys, which is convenient for women (who, by the by, comprise the vase majority of the sex toy market)
- The advertisements are amazing. Gorgeous lingerie and corsets abound; it’s highly motivating, and let me say that it’s never a bad thing for a woman to invest in gorgeous lingerie.
- Readers are not treated as one-dimensional sex fiends, as indicated by features on non-sex-related topics like interesting historical figures, music, and well-designed office supplies (ok, so maybe that’s a bit sexual).
In sum, I highly recommend this magazine to readers on their next layover in London. You can get it at the airport (!).
A little gift for the ladies
In this waning economy, manufacturers of superfluous beauty products must be nervous. As a consumer afraid of layoffs, are you more likely to go for the $2.00 pack of 50 Bic razors, or the $20 single razor variety--with replacement blades running $10 for a pack of four?
Luckily for us, beauty companies have come up with a solution that benefits everyone: $20 razors that vibrate and now the latest incarnation: $30 vibrating mascara wands.
...getting excited?
Outrage has flown at this obscene level of consumerism, but as I said before, everyone wins here. Suffering beauty companies can justify charging a threefold premium on their products, and women are offered a discrete way to (ahem) alleviate any anxiety caused by the recession, not to mention anxiety over the fact that they just bought a $30 sex toy which also makes their eyes look smoldering and sexy.
And because I can't help but throw politics into the mix, I have to note that I am heartened to see sex toys (even disguised sex toys) become accessible to the masses. Sixteen year-old girls in small Midwest towns don't have access to Good Vibrations or Babeland, and mail order isn't always an option. If Wal-Mart doesn't stock it, then they ain't getting it and they ain't getting off.
The same concept applies to couples. As a parenthetical, I have to talk briefly about the KY product Yours+Mine, a product I saw advertised while researching this post. I highly recommend clicking here to visit the product website. This lube looks magical! The concept is simple: There are two tubes--one for "him" and one for "her" (as though the primary market for this isn't closeted gay dudes)--each supposedly producing a different sensation. Then when you Do It, you get to feel your partner's sensation. It's simple, but with clever advertising, KY has made a taboo product unbelievably appealing. And the best part is that even stick-up-its-ass Wal-Mart will stock it.
Living in a major city where liberalism reigns, it is easy to forget that most people don't have access to sexual aides nor to permissive sexual culture. The Internet notwithstanding, open sexuality is less culturally available outside big cities. So accessibility to sexual products through mainstream channels is crucial. If you need further evidence, this Amazon.com customer review from Texas beautifully illustrates my point:
"Me and my fiance decided to try this after seeing the commerical so many times, we went to wal-mart and they were sold out, so we drove to the walmart in the next town and they were sold out too. ..[T}hen we went to CVS, they didn't have any out so we thought we were fixing to go home empty handed, we asked the cashier as we were checking out about what we really wanted and they had some upstairs. They never got to unpack it because everyone kept comeing in and asking for it, they had two left and we bought both of them.
It was worth all the work to get it. This is by far the best lubricant we have ever used... [sic]"
So I say God bless vibrating razors, vibrating makeup, and fancy KY lube. Everyone deserves to have great sex.
