The phemonenon of women watching and enjoying porn is growing. Everywhere, including Idaho. Trust me on that. The phenomenon of women talking about how they watch and enjoy porn is also taking hold--though this time it's mostly limited to liberal enclaves and major cities. But still, it's a start.
I've noticed an interesting dynamic start taking place among these women who talk about porn. A man watching porn is just doing what men are assumed to do. No biggie. But for a woman to watch porn, and then tell people is a radical revelation, and people assume she somehow acts like the women in the porn movies.
It's happened to me a few times - people I meet are aware of this blog and my area of study. When I mentinon that I advocate sexual conservatism I get looks of shock. "Don't you think that's kind of incompatible?" they ask.
Of course not! Watching porn is about entertainment. On a cerebral level, it's accepting that everyone is a sexual creature, and sex can be a creative (if efficacious) sexual outlet. Not sleeping around is a personal decision based on real life experience and a sense of one's own personal values for behavior in the real world. Totally different.
I suppose it doesn't help the case that many of the biggest women's porn advocates--Tristan Taormino, Violet Blue, Nina Hartley, Sasha Grey--also broadcast a libertine sense of sexuality. I can see how people could conflate personal sexual practices with porn viewing practice.
But I am here to tell you, dear readers, that they are NOT the same thing! You can both watch porn and exist in a monogamous relationship. You can both watch porn and not sleep with someone on the first date. You can both watch porn and not like backdoor sex. In fact, watching porn may help you hold your ground under pressure--you get to indulge your wildest fantasy while still maintaining your personal values
The advocates you mentioned are also on-camera performers, and such sex workers are commonly nonmonogamous.
There are other well-known advocates of porn who do lead a monogamous lifestyle - Candida Royalle, retired porn star and current filmmaker, for example.
Posted by: Sheldon | February 10, 2010 at 05:39 PM
That's a great point--there are lots of people who make their living off porn and are monogamous. So this whole "porn=you're easy" thing doubly has to go!
Posted by: Rebecca R | February 11, 2010 at 01:26 AM